An Open Letter to Life

Birthdays

Posted on: June 4, 2014

I recently had a birthday, May 28th to be exact. Now, this birthday was my 22nd, and one of the first “Happy Birthdays” I received, didn’t say that at all. It simply stated;

“So how does it feel to know that the rest of your birthdays aren’t really special, and it all goes downhill from here”

I read, and re-read that text, laughed then abruptly stopped. Is he right? Do none of the birthdays other than 30 and 50 matter? I have now made it a point to start planning awesome events for each one of my birthdays. And the planning shouldn’t happen a week or 2 before…no…mother fucker it’s your birthday so you need to celebrate the shit out of it. Pinatas should be falling out your ass after that party. Never depend on others for a good time, you take that light saber of funness and you wield it like a boss. If anyone tries to cut it off, you just simply stick your foot in their ass and wear them like a slipper. 

Okay, I’m sorry, I’m going off an my very outrageous and funny metaphors. But, moral to this rather short blog for the evening. 

1. Plan every birthday, because others aren’t going to plan the party unless they really like you (in which case, they like you, but they’d probably like me more)

2. If someone tries to be a Buzz Killington, just simply put two random acts together, and you have a weird insult that will surely turn head, and make them think twice about getting into fisty cuff with you. 
     example: “I am not scared to go mismatched sock shopping, and buy you a scarf, made out of rope, to hang you with”

3. This reminds me of what I’m going to blog about tomorrow. The joys of letting go order, and mismatching socks.

4. Back to the regular point, Always tip your waitress, and let your pets repopulate. 

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