An Open Letter to Life

I start college tomorrow,  I’m nervous and excited at the same time. I keep wondering if 3 years from now will this day be a good memory,  one that I look back to and think “oh, she was so young”, or “I’m going to miss college forver”, or will it be a bad memory that I want to bury in a sandbox. Answers will come in time.

I don’t know if many of you are worriers, but I am. Even if it’s something that I know is going to happen a year from now, it still bothers me. I will have to enroll full time next year, thus making me able to work MAYBE 20 hours a week. I’ve never not had a full time job, and it scares me to have to go back to being supported by another person, I’ve been my supporter for so long that it feels odd…..even though it’s 12 months away😦 guess that means I can actually get involved in my school, and study and hang out with kids my own age and broaden my horizons (but I’m too awkward to bring out in public)

look at me getting all personal, but it’s on my mind, and bothering me like crazy, makes me feel better to jot it down and get it off the old noodle. Still hitting the gym, have kept 10 pounds off, but it’s not enough!! Need to work harder

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Pic I took the other day, don’t pay any mind to my puppy dog nighty lol! Hoping to see some changes in my face soon

Stepped on the scale this morning, 278!!!! Yes yes yes, I am so excited! No symptoms from adipex other than extremely dry mouth, which leads to bad breath but cured with mints and gum and water! I’ve been a bit busy with starting college in a few days, but making my time to work out at the gym and eating right! I try and keep myself moving throughout the day. Now that I think about to, the Adipex makes me sweat alot more, so that’s probably helping too, but nevertheless I am moving the right direction. My mini goal for the next 2 weeks, 266 pounds, that will be the weight I was at for 4 straight years, and the weight I was at when I met my boyfriend Steve!

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Stepped on the scale today, 281…..finally. 9 pounds down, 131 more to go. It’s crazy to think that I carry the extra weight of another person with me, all the time. It even weirder to imagine how it’s everyday life for me. I guess it takes a few steps out of the box it look at it like that, but when you really think about it, why didn’t I realize it sooner, or why didn’t I change sooner. I guess things happen when they need to happen, but if I could have one more do-over things would be a lot different.

Weighed myself at the gym, and being on this medication for 4 days, and I’m only down 1 pound. Well, at least it’s not 290, it’s 284….but still. Come on body, quit being stubborn.

I’m horrible at planning. I forget, and I just make “I don’t have time” excuses. Well, not anymore. I’ve devised a plan to help me be more coordinated for myself and my family. It’s literally not rocket science, but from this day forward planning meals will be done for all meals! And not like the day before, no, this Sunday all meals will be planned by me! Pretty excited,  plus I need to be more organized because I start college I 2 weeks, and my children need to eat!

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